The Walking Dead Season Finale

I’ve heard people say The Walking Dead is arguably the best show on TV right now; but I have to ask, what the fuck is there to argue about?? The competition isn’t exactly “stiff”; I’d say the flesh-eating cadavers bumble away with the title easily. I understand those that are committed to the comics are split on their opinions of the show, but having never opened a comic book in my life I salute AMC for producing the only show I’ll admit to watching in real time… commercial hell and all. (Speaking of which: Hey Kevin Smith—STOP IT.)

This season grew tiresome in a few spots. The hunt for Sophia, the ordeal with the prisoner—but both plotlines still managed to turn around and slap me in the snatch with their solutions. Oh, Sophia… the first time I ever cried during a show about zombies. Why couldn’t it have been Carl?!? That little turd needs a good zombie-chompin’, as do his parents. “I know we’re in the midst of the god damn apocalypse, but I think we should give our prepubescent son a loaded gun and then never account for his whereabouts. That’s a GREAT idea!” And that little shithead is the reason Dale died—which ALMOST made me cry for a second time this season. I’ve found that people who liked Dale didn’t like Shane and vice versa, but it’s all a moot point now since both became the proud recipients of mercy bullets through their brains.

But that’s the point, right? I mean, from Romero to Shaun of the Dead, not much changes from movie to movie, show to show, or book to book about zombies. Sometimes it’s a disease, other times a comet passed a little too close to Earth, but otherwise zombies are pretty much the same. They make guttural noises, stumble around like they’re traveling between a bar and the local Denny’s at 3:00 AM in a college town, and feed on human flesh. Sometimes just brains, but I guess those are like the vegans of zombieville. Damn snobs.  Anyway, what makes the story infectious is the survivors, and having people argue about Rick vs. Shane or Dale vs. Shane or Herschel vs. Shane just proves The Walking Dead is doing its job. (And that Shane was a douchebag.)

That being said, I hesitate to express my “issues” with the finale. Every time this show has made me roll my eyes in the past, it’s fully redeemed itself and more—usually in the same episode.  I’m sure they’ll address the concerns left behind by the Season 2 finale and blow my mind again in the fall. But until then, these things are flooding my RV’s engine:

Rick—a dick?? While he gained a tiny bit of respect from me this season by finally taking off that god awful cop uniform, he remained an annoying twatwaffle with a stupid wife and a dumb kid. However, from the beginning his character has been about doing the “right thing” and looking out for others, as well as Shatner-esque dramatic stares into nowhere until the camera finally pans away (without the Shatner sex appeal, unfortunately.) So why did he go all Kim Jong Il with his “This is NOT a democracy” crap when he could’ve just told the TRUTH– that Shane lured him out into the wilderness (which was a few hours walk but within sight of the farmhouse, another dar moment) to murder him, so he had to turn and kill his so-called best friend in self-defense? Hell of a time to pick to lie, dipshit. Now everyone hates you just as much as the viewers do. Good job, fuckface.

Second Season rules change? Speaking of Rick’s lying, I’m not sure if the scientist at the CDC actually told him that every human carried the “zombie virus” and that people who die of any cause would become flesh devouring monsters (all that really sticks with me from the first season was the horse scene), but even if I give the show the benefit of a doubt that this conversation did take place, how come the wannabe thugs that Rick, Glen, and Herschel gunned down in the bar didn’t come back to gnaw at them? They stayed holed up in that bar for possibly hours; Shane came back within minutes. I give this gaping plot hole a giant W T F ?

The zombie whisperer. I’m of course talking about the hooded figure with the armless pet zombies that came to Andrea’s rescue. Whaaaat? Those uppity comic book fans probably already know all about this guy/girl, but us lowly television viewers are wondering what the shit is this?!? Whoever the dickhead is, their introduction was… well, stupid. I didn’t see if the figure had two hands, but I’ve heard a couple different fans theorize that this could be Daryl’s brother, Merle, that was abandoned on a rooftop in Atlanta in the first season. If this turns out to be the case I will pitch poop at my TV. If you can leave a moronic redneck handcuffed to a zombie-infested rooftop in an inner city overrun by monsters, and he not only lives but manages to make those zombies his bitches AND shows up in the very place where his brother has become incredibly awesome without him… well, then how did every other idiot on Earth get pulled apart by these boorish beasts? If saving civilization was that fucking easy someone should’ve just called Dog the Bounty Hunter. Not to mention, if it is Merle, he appears to have grown a nice set of tits.

Your move, AMC…. and I can’t wait to see what you do.

Note: After writing this I checked into the new character (Yes I research AFTER I write, shut up) and the reason those who theorized Merle as the keeper of the undead are still alive is they have no brains to be eaten. But I kind of wish it was him now. Damn it.

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Comments

  1. Liked your post very much! :D
    In my humble opinion, this show gets worse by days. Seasons are too short to have an option to follow the line. By the way, what makes me want to watch a show one chapter after another with non-stop is that willing to know what will happen, that sensation you get when a chapter is finished and you keep thinking about that damn show for hours wondering and taking your own guess about upcoming events.
    This is not the case, at least for me. Things here are too predictable, Rick sucks and always shows that acquiescent face. He feels like no one could survive or go to the toilet without his help, always forgetting his own family.
    That damn kid yes… needs a slap on his face and also does his mother.
    I’d rather keep Shane and kill Rick. Shane was one of my favorite characters although his love for Lori started making him go mad, he was not a bad guy, just fell in love with the wrong bitch.

    I’ve also noticed a reduction on make-up budget. First episodes were way better than these last ones.
    To end, I would resume my opinion in one word: BORING.

    1. If you watch carefully the episode of the bar you’ll notice that the first guy is shot in the head so he can’t come back as a zombie..and the fat one who is shot in the chest is later finished with a headshot,this made me asking why the first time I saw it,but then when he said they are ionfected at the end of the serie,I understood why..
      About the swordswoman, I’ve read the comic so i assure she is one of the most badasses characthers of the serie,and she took those two zombies with herself because she use them as a shield to cover her smell from other zombies ;)

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